We’ve had Hazel (Hazel is our Roomba vacuum) for several years now, and she still does a
solid job of keeping the floors clean enough for daily living. However, I hope the 2025 models are "smarter" because Hazel still has her trouble spots. She frequently gets stuck under the bar kick plate, a chair in the casual sitting area, and lately, under the dishwasher.
The first two issues are somewhat understandable, as the rug creates a height differential that allows some initial entry into a tight place, which then develops into a wedging situation. The frustrating part is that once Hazel is reset, she may head another direction but often returns and gets stuck again—in the exact same spot!
How often do we do the same thing in our own lives?
Learning from Mistakes
Let’s take a simple example. We have a two-story house with a basement. This means there are stairs going up to the bedrooms on the second floor and stairs going down to the basement. On each staircase, we’ve placed a basket for items to be carried up or down later. The problem? I don’t always pay attention to the basket. When do I notice? On a return trip.
“No big deal,” I tell myself. “I’ll get it next time.” Do I? No. Well, sometimes, but not most of the time. Usually, after forgetting twice, I just fix it and make a quick trip to put the item away.
Now, if this kind of forgetfulness or thinking pattern were limited to small, inconsequential situations, it wouldn’t be so bad. But it’s not. These patterns show up in more significant areas of life—like in my relationship with Kris, the single most important person in my life.
Here’s a recent example: we were planning a couple’s communication workshop. She had one idea of what to do, and I had another. Worse still, I was so attached to my idea that our discussion went south. Why do I dig into my perspective, thinking it’s perfect and can’t be improved?! It’s like Hazel getting stuck repeatedly in the same spot. There’s almost always a better way to approach things.
What Is the Best Way to Learn from Mistakes?
I learned from John Maxwell that it’s not experience alone that makes the best teacher. It’s evaluated experience. In the basket example, I fixed the issue after forgetting twice. But what about more important situations, like with Kris?
Answer: Recognize there’s nearly always a better way to do something. The challenge is acting on this knowledge. For simple tasks, it’s easy to make a quick adjustment. But when involving others, I’ve learned that I need to let go of my ego and allow a better idea to emerge. This not only improves the outcome but also strengthens the relationship.
Here’s my updated approach: I’m focusing more on valuing her perspective and clarifying our shared goal. If we’re aligned on the goal, we can work together to find the best solution—and we both win.
If I can add value to your thinking in one of these challenging situations, let’s grab coffee. However, don’t ask me to be a marriage counselor—I’m not qualified. :) If you need a “thinking partner,” I’m game!
Brian
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