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Leading in the Home (A Mom’s Perspective)

Human beings in today’s world put a lot of stock into what they do for a living—rather than who they are. For instance, we talk about how important leadership is in our work life: We do continuing education and go to conferences. We read books and meet with people to talk about business a minimum of 40 hours per week—and that’s probably being very conservative!

Let’s face it. Those who are employed full time spend more time with their work families than they do with their home families.

Are the people you work with more important to develop and equip than those in your home? Very unlikely. Yet we send our children to school for 12 years, and then many of them go on to higher education to learn how to do “work” better—all the while being taught by people we may not know. So where are they learning their leadership skills? Guess what? They are learning from the people they admire and want to be loved by… you! And it isn’t just children I’m talking about now.

Everyone you live with—your family—is watching to see how you do things, how you handle the good things and the not-so-good things. They know if you are reading a book or watching TV and what your hobbies are. They probably know the real you. So how are you empowering them to develop their leadership?

Remember: Leadership is not a position. Leadership is influence. And before you can lead others, you must first learn to lead yourself.

So where is your focus? What legacy are you creating? No—not financially. What legacy of leadership and character and values are you creating? Are you focused on the things that are most important to you? Or is it just a list of to-dos and honey-dos? Not that the lists aren’t important. My kids and husband all need to know how to do the laundry, and it’s important to get laundry done. We are not living out the story of “The Emperor’s New Clothes”! But how I equip them to know how to do laundry and use the machines and how to fold the clothes does fall into my focus of relationships. That’s right. Laundry can be very relational! We talk; we fold; we listen; we learn. Our children are grown now, but there are still times when we stand chatting while folding clothes. Sometimes it’s even while we are on the phone away from each other.

It’s a silly example of the importance of leadership in the home, but it does make my point. Even when you are doing the “whatever,” be sure you’re modeling the expected behavior and thinking that you want the others in your home to do and have. Make sure you are focusing on the right things—the important things. Don’t lose your focus on what’s most important. Keep your purpose and values at the forefront. Then equip your family to also keep their purposes and values at the forefront.

Model, Focus, and Equip—that’s leadership in a nutshell. That’s leadership in the home. Oh… And guess what? That’s leadership everywhere.

If you aren’t sure how to level up your leadership at home—or in your business (’cuz they are related)—Leadership Harbor would love to be your thinking partner! There are family coaching packages available that would be terrific in helping parents and youth or young adults level up their leadership or even help with life transitions and career planning or changes. We will also have a parenting class coming out this summer that we are very excited to be able to offer to area families!

Take care,


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