Owning Up

I recently found myself in a conversation that reminded me of how easily we can miss the

point when it comes to responsibility. A friend was sharing about a networking group that requires weekly attendance. Nothing unusual—this expectation had been in place for years. It wasn’t a surprise to anyone, and it wasn’t unreasonable. Yet, over time, some members had started slipping. Skipping here, missing there, letting life or busyness dictate their commitment.

Eventually, the issue had to be addressed. One of the leaders approached a member about his spotty attendance.

“Hey George, we need to have a discussion about attendance,” the leader began.

George replied quickly, “Hi Bob. I know my attendance hasn’t been perfect, but it’s not as bad as Sally’s.”

I had to laugh. Not because it was funny—but because it’s such a human response.

The Comparison Trap

Here’s the thing: I don’t know of any group, team, or organization that writes into their standards, “As long as you’re not the worst, you’re fine.” That’s not how excellence works. That’s not how accountability works. And that’s not how leadership works.

Yet we fall into this trap all the time. Instead of owning our shortcomings, we deflect. We point fingers. We say things like:

• “I might be late, but at least I’m not as bad as him.”

• “Sure, I didn’t meet the goal, but others didn’t either.”

• “Yes, I forgot, but she’s forgotten way more often.”

Comparisons may soothe our ego, but they don’t excuse our actions.

The reality is simple: Someone else’s situation has no bearing on your responsibility.

George’s attendance wasn’t about Sally. It was about George.

Responsibility Is the Foundation of Growth

John Maxwell once said: “You may succeed if nobody believes in you, but you will never succeed if you don’t believe in yourself.”

Believing in yourself begins with trusting yourself—and trusting yourself begins with responsibility. If you can’t be counted on to follow through with your commitments, how can you expect others to believe in your word?

Responsibility is the soil where leadership grows. You can’t lead others until you first learn to lead yourself. Think about it:

• If you can’t manage your own schedule, how can you help a team manage theirs?

• If you constantly shift blame, how can you inspire accountability in others?

• If your word isn’t reliable, why should others trust you with theirs?

Responsibility isn’t glamorous, but it’s powerful. It’s the daily decision to show up, follow through, and hold yourself accountable—whether or not anyone else is watching.

The High Cost of Excuses

Every time we make an excuse instead of owning our actions, we pay a price. That price shows up as lost credibility: People stop trusting what you say; stalled growth: Without ownership, you can’t improve; and/or weakened influence: Leaders who shift blame lose respect. On the flip side, when you take responsibility, even for your mistakes, you build strength. People respect honesty. They admire humility. They follow those who lead themselves first.

Shifting From Excuses to Ownership

So how do we break free from the “at least I’m not as bad as Sally” mindset? Here are a few steps:

1. Pause before deflecting. When confronted with a shortcoming, resist the urge to explain it away. Listen. Reflect. Ask: What part of this do I need to own?

2. Acknowledge quickly. Saying, “You’re right. I haven’t met the standard. I need to do better,” builds more trust than a dozen excuses ever could.

3. Take one step of correction. Don’t overcomplicate it. If the issue is attendance, commit to the next meeting. If it’s communication, send the follow-up email today. Small actions rebuild confidence.

4. Focus forward. Responsibility isn’t about guilt—it’s about growth. Once you’ve owned your actions, put your energy into solutions and next steps.

   
   

The Remarkable Opportunity

At the heart of it, responsibility is about believing that your actions matter. And they do.

It’s not about perfection. It’s about integrity. It’s about showing others—and yourself—that you can be counted on.

When you stop deflecting and start owning your actions, you step into a remarkable opportunity: the opportunity to grow, to influence, and to lead. So let me ask you the same question George was asked, but with a twist:

• Where do you need to step up?

• What responsibility do you need to own?

• What excuse is keeping you from growth?

Remember, success doesn’t come from being “better than Sally.” It comes from being a better version of you. Own your actions. Lead yourself well. And watch how others begin to follow.

Make it an incredible day!

Brian