We Get To

There’s a simple phrase that’s been shaping the way I think about leadership, family, and culture lately: I don’t have to

… I get to.

It’s a mindset shift. One that moves us from obligation to opportunity. A recent family trip to Ten Mile Lake in northern Minnesota reminded me of just how powerful that shift can be.

Before the trip, everyone put in their requests for their favorite meals. Eleven people. Eleven different ideas of what and how to cook. It could have been chaos — but instead, it was a beautiful mess of collaboration.

You should know up front that I love to cook! I also love letting others take the reins and stepping back. On our first morning, it was pancakes and bacon. My husband and son-in-law took charge of the pancakes, while I handled the bacon. Soon came a request: “Kris, could you help with the pancake batter? I didn’t bring the recipe.” Check. Grandkids and my mom were setting the table. “Where’s the syrup?” someone asked. Silence. No one brought syrup. We were 15 miles from the nearest store. I looked around our rented cabin and thought, “Sugar, water — I can make syrup. Maybe we have some flavoring…”

And it hit me: I don’t have to make syrup. I get to.

That moment of improvisation became a metaphor for what we were really celebrating that trip — family, flexibility, and the opportunity to show up for each other. And it’s the same with culture and leadership.

Culture Is Created — Not Inherited

My friend John Maxwell says, “Attitude reflects leadership.” And leadership sets the tone for culture.

Many people assume “culture” just happens.  Not true. Culture is shaped every day by people who choose to lead.

Leadership isn’t about titles or roles. It’s about influence. So let me ask how you see yourself.. o Are you a leader?  If yes, what makes you a leader?  A position?  Great charisma? Success in your role or business?

If leadership is influence — not position — then everyone can be a leader. Especially when it comes to shaping culture. There is responsibility and the joy in shaping culture. And you get to be part of that. You don’t have to lead. You get to.

You Can’t Grow Culture Without Growing People

And here’s something else I’ve learned along the way: Culture only grows when people grow. I’m not just talking about data, personnel or pancakes. I’m talking about personal growth. Growth that stretches your mind, renews your purpose, and reinforces your values.

Some of you might be thinking, “I’ve put in my time and effort already.  It’s time for others to step up.”   Guess what? If you're still breathing, you’re still leading. And your wisdom is needed now more than ever.

Growth is intentional. It doesn’t happen by accident. As is identified in John Maxwell’s The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth and The Law of Intentionality.  There’s also The Law of the Mirror: You must see value in yourself to add value to others.  Take a minute and reread that one.  And for those of us that are more focused on caring for others rather than ourselves, there’s The Law of Contribution – You grow not just for yourself, but to give to others.

Here’s a truth that I truly embrace: Before I can lead others well, I must first lead myself. And when we do? It changes everything.

Let’s Celebrate the Culture-Makers

Every day, people in the community are modeling growth, encouragement, mentorship, and resilience. They’re shaping the culture we all get to experience through kindness, courage, and showing up consistently.

So here’s a challenge straight from the John Maxwell playbook: Pick one person this week to encourage. Not for what they do, but for who they are. Be specific. Let them know the value they bring to your world.

Ultimately We get to show up for each other. We get to shape our cultures. We get to lead — no matter our title, our role, or our season of life.

Hope to chat with you soon,

Kris