Where Are You Spending Your Energy?
- Leadership Harbor Coach
- Apr 23
- 2 min read
The Power of Control: Where Are You Spending Your Energy?
Lately, I’ve noticed something: there are a lot of stressed-out people. Maybe that’s not surprising to you—most of us recognize that we live in a world full of stressors. But here’s my question: why do people spend so much of their energy and desire on being miserable?
We teach a principle called the Circle of Control, which has applications in both personal and professional life. It’s a simple yet powerful concept:
The only thing you can truly control is yourself—your thoughts, words, actions, and choices.
Everything else is outside of your control but within your influence—this is where leadership comes in. Leadership is influence, and learning how to manage our energy wisely allows us to lead effectively.
So let’s talk about energy—because whether we realize it or not, we are constantly expending it.
Where Is Your Energy Going?
Each person has a limited amount of energy they can use daily, and we often waste it on things we can’t control. Worry, fear, overcommitment, and negativity drain us. Here’s how this plays out:
Mental Energy:
Discussion Fatigue – Too much time spent arguing or debating things outside our control leaves us mentally exhausted.
Goal Fatigue – Setting too many goals at once spreads us too thin. What’s most important right now?
Reinventing the Wheel – Instead of always starting from scratch, rally your resources and build on what already exists.
Fear and Thought Awareness – Fear drains energy. Winning words like “I got this” help redirect your focus. What you tell yourself matters.
Stressor → Thoughts → Reactions – Your response to stress is shaped by your thoughts. Change your thoughts, change your reactions, and that will change your energy.
Emotional Energy:
Emotions Are Contagious – In business, research shows we need three positives for every negative. In core relationships, that ratio jumps to five-to-one.
Resilience and Boundaries – Set healthy boundaries with people who drain your energy. Dr. Kristin Neff emphasizes the importance of self-compassion—treat yourself with the same kindness you offer others.
Holding True to Boundaries – Setting healthy boundaries is one thing; upholding them is another. Protect your peace.
Taking Back Control
If we’re constantly exhausted, it’s time to evaluate where our energy is going. Are we reacting to everything outside our control, or are we responding intentionally to what we can influence?
Here’s how to shift your mindset:
Stop feeding negativity – If it’s out of your control, release it. Don’t let it steal your energy.
Speak life – Speak words that build up, not tear down. Change your thoughts, change your reactions.
Refocus on priorities – What matters most today? Focus there.
Lead by example – When you manage your energy well, you become a leader others want to follow.
What matters…
We all have a finite amount of energy. Spend it wisely. Stop giving away your energy to things you cannot control, and instead, redirect it toward what truly matters.
Questions? Give me a call. Set up a Discovery Session. Send me an email. I’d love to chat with you!
Kris
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