Leveraging Pain
- Leadership Harbor Coach
- Apr 17
- 3 min read
“Every problem introduces a person to himself.” – John McDonald
When it comes to pain, my instinct is to escape it as quickly as possible. I don’t want to feel
it. I don’t want to be uncomfortable. For most of my life, I’ve viewed pain as either an inconvenience or, at best, a push toward change.
However, as I continue growing as a husband, father, and man, I’ve begun to see pain in a new light. It’s more than just a catalyst—it’s a teacher. Engaging with pain and examining what it reveals about me has offered far more growth than merely seeking a way out of it.
This truth becomes clearer when we look at the work of a blacksmith. To forge a tool, iron must be placed in a furnace until it becomes malleable. Once heated, the blacksmith removes it, working to strip away impurities and shape it into something useful. However, this process isn’t completed in one cycle. The iron must go back into the fire repeatedly, each time allowing more impurities to surface, making it stronger and more refined.
If we step out of pain too soon—if we refuse to let it do its full work—our transformation is incomplete. We may show improvement, but we won’t reach our full potential. Just like a tool that hasn’t been fully sharpened, our effectiveness remains limited. True refinement requires perseverance. And yes, that means more pain. But when we embrace the process, what was once dull becomes sharp, and what was once weak becomes strong.
What is there to gain?
If we’re going to experience pain anyway, we might as well gain everything we can from it. Pain, failure, and loss are inevitable parts of life. Yet, the more we learn to endure and grow from them, the less power they hold over us. The agony diminishes as we develop resilience and perspective.
I learned this in an unexpected way in my mid-20s. A close friend and I had a weekly ritual—meeting at a wing restaurant halfway between our homes. As young men eager to prove our toughness, we’d order the spiciest wings we could handle. At first, we made the mistake of stopping between bites to quench the burning sensation, but we quickly realized that only made the pain return at full force. Eventually, we figured out that if we just kept eating, the burn became more bearable. Within months, we could eat the hottest wings with ease, barely noticing the heat. The pain was still there, but because we endured it without focusing on it, our suffering decreased. Instead of fixating on discomfort, we enjoyed the camaraderie.
Pain in life operates the same way. If we treat it as an enemy, constantly trying to escape, it will always overwhelm us. But if we embrace it as a teacher, we gain strength and endurance. Scripture affirms this truth:
Isaiah 30:20-21 – Though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher. And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.
1 Peter 1:6-7 – In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
When we accept pain as a guide, we learn to endure it—and in doing so, we set an example for others. We move beyond fear of earthly struggles and instead focus on where God is leading us.
Go, and outlive your limits!
P.S. It would be my honor to serve as your coach. Please contact me to set up a discovery session!
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