Updated: Aug 25, 2021
When I was a kid, I liked games more than puzzles; and I preferred games that required skill
over luck. Nevertheless, one of my favorite luck games was the Game of LIFE. This is where you spin the wheel, choose to go to college or get a job, you draw your random career card, get married, have kids and travel through LIFE. Games are meant to be fun. I like fun. Even in the game of LIFE, who doesn’t want the high paying career, and landing on the right spaces to win the lottery, and not the ones where you pay your opponent or the bank due to some arbitrary accident. (Realize, it is ALL arbitrary anyway).
I like to win - It’s part of my “wiring.”
However, not everyone approaches games with the same attitude. Is that wrong? Maybe not, but we do know what is wrong. It is wrong when we “over” celebrate, acting like we have mastered the universe or something. And it is wrong when we take a game personally, and feel that the loss somehow reflects on who we are as a person. It is even more wrong when these two personas are combined in the situation of one winning, and then suggesting, or worse, stating, that there is some greater superiority taking place. The point is that it is a game! No one likes a sore loser, and even more so, no one likes a sore winner.
I don’t know about you, but here is my confession - I’ve been both. I was slow to grow up. I am grateful to the people who loved me in spite of my childish ways.
School is starting and the Covid variant is expanding. There are people of both extremes freaking out due to what is happening, and even what might happen. Parents, teachers, administrators, and gradually even youth are speaking out. There are states enacting mask mandates, and there are states that have enacted laws prohibiting mask mandates.
No doubt about it, these are crazy times.
Folks, we are in the real game of LIFE. Spinning the wheel of chance is going to prove dangerous, if not catastrophic to one side or the other.
What is the Goal?
Is this about masks vs the choice to wear no masks? Is it about being vaccinated or choosing to not be vaccinated? These options are either this or that, and each side is acting like a sore winner or a sore loser.
The Maxwell DISC Personality Indicator helps us understand the primary Fears of each type of personality. This “wiring” affects our thoughts, beliefs and ultimately, our actions.
The D personality is the dominant, doer, demanding, personality. They fear losing control.
The I personality is the one that is looking to be liked and have fun. They fear not being liked or losing favor with others.
The S personality strives for security, getting along with others, and status quo. They fear situations that disrupt or could disrupt these feelings. The C personality looks for correctness, fairness, and compliance with appropriate rules. They fear being criticized.
There are some who voice their opinions on social media trying to assert their perspective - this is a small percentage of people that fear losing control. We need to help them to understand what is truly within their circle of control.
The majority of people fall into the S personality, and just want us all (vaccinated/not vaccinated, pro-mask/anti-mask) to just get along, and realize the goal is protection of lives.
The I’s want to be liked, so they are likely to support and go along with the majority crowd. And, like the S’s, NEED to connect with people in meaningful ways. These are the biggest group of people that “hurt” from the anti-socialization of the pandemic and why they flocked to the social areas once the restrictions were lifted.
The people that fall into the C personality, have studied the information, and have formed their opinions as well. In general, they are likely to agree with the medical expert majority and expect that the logical step is for everyone to be vaccinated.
It may also be a helpful reminder - “hurting people hurt people.”
This means that those who are struggling most with a situation may act unpredictably and lash out at others. When a person’s actions do not make sense, one must look below the surface and look for their “hurt.” This awareness is key to addressing the real issue at work.
The Goal, especially during this continued pandemic, is personal safety for as many people as possible! We are looking for everyone to play the game of LIFE, as a game where everyone wins as much as possible. This means that no one dies prematurely. No one gets any sicker than is necessary.
“A ship in the harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.”
We are like ships, we have a need to be safe. If we are safest with vaccinations, masks and sanitizer then great! We are not made to stay this way forever. We are in need of relationships. Keep working on creative ways to build and maintain your most important relationships, while at the same time finding the best way to keep going safely in the game of LIFE! Know that we will make it through this!
Blessings from Leadership Harbor